It seems everyone wants to be in control. They may say, “I’ll just let it go, that’s okay, or yes, I need your help,” etc. , but at the core is the wish to be in control. And no matter how you perceive their intentions or their actions, others in the group, afraid to speak up initially, secretly want to lead.
They may not always have control, especially in some onerous situation, where the popular decision, however necessary, was not made. They may be chosen the leader or chairman and think great, now I will have the control I always wanted, but then there’s always one–the “give them an inch and they take a mile” type. Of course they wanted to be in control all along, but didn’t have the gumption to say yes. Instead they attend the discussions, listen and often secretly undermine the decisions made.
This isn’t news. Everyone who deals with others in business, in offices, volunteer organizations, sport teams, or church groups; anywhere one person is chosen to lead, this arises. It is lonely at the top.