Category: Bladder cancer

Paranoid. I’ll say it. I hate spiders.

It started as a child, seeing huge hairy bulks of spiders in the upper corners of the woodshed. Moved on to the time my two best friends and I were spending the night in the hay barn. One on each side of me, huddled together with a flashlight. Of course we had to shine it way up to catch sight of the crawlers up on the ceiling. Even with their close protection, I didn’t make it through till morning.

Spiders just give me the creeps. Long after they’re gone, swept away, or vacuumed, their image still chills me. In fact, I think they just pretend to die, later sneaking out of the vacuum hose, to scare again. In my 1940’s Colorado home I expected to see them. I had a cane at the time, so was always prepared to heavily thrust it upon the intruder. My husband knew if he heard me scream in the middle of the night, that I was trapped in the tiny bathroom by an eight legged creature. His vision was not great, and it still makes me laugh thinking of him on his hands and knees with toilet tissue trying to find the invader, while I had my knees under my chin on the commode! Oh, the good old days…. Actually, I lost some fear of spiders when I had to be on my own, with no rescuer in sight. Now that I am in a brand new home in Wyoming, I’ve only seen one big one, a hitchhiker from the move. 

Until yesterday. Sure, it’s the time of year when “they” like to vacation in the warmth of inside quarters, but for two years, I didn’t think I had the pleasure of their company. But yesterday…….the bathroom again! No husband to scream for, no cane, just me and the bottled bleach cleaner. The enemy was fearsome, withstanding multiple assaults of the deadly spray. But I was the relentless victor, vanquishing him at last. Just to be sure, I put a glass over  it so the fumes did him in. I know what you’re thinking…but I already admitted I’m paranoid about spiders.  

This morning I got up to see something dark, quickly moving towards the bed. Thank the gods for the wheelchair so I could move without putting my feet on the floor. A familiar shudder covered me. In order for my morning eyes to see him, he was big! Looking for a weapon, I bravely, hopefully, squashed him under a half full bottle of water. Suspiciously lifting the bottle, expecting the carpet had saved him, I looked to see if I had won, again. Yes! A handful of Kleenex wrapped around the body, and into the trash bag…..I tied it a couple of times, just to make sure. I felt triumphant, could almost picture “The Gladiator”.  

Beware, you Halloween horrors, I’m feeling stronger, braver than before. Keep out of this home, a Champion Spider Killer lives here!

The cowpuncher hated his horse 

It refused to stay on the course

It wouldn’t turn cows

So frustrated now, 

He cursed it until he was hoarse.

http://nicolaauckland.com/2016/10/20/poetry-homonym

I think it was “The Fall of the House of Usher” that made me afraid of being underground. It was quite a frightening movie at the time. I’ll never forget the bloody fingers from scratching her way out of the coffin. Who could blame her? After all, she was buried alive, the coffin chained to keep her there. As a child, I was horrified. From then on, I never wanted to be buried. In a coffin, dirt covered, in a hole, underground.

https://youtu.be/dXpYKCAEOQc

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/underground/

“Greatest of human virtues is always patience (Maxima enim est hominum semper patientia virtus)~Cato (?), Disticha, bk i, No. 38 (c. 175 B.C.)

We’ve all heard this, “patience is a virtue”, but apparently the above is the earliest time recorded. Today I was waiting for the bus, in the doctor’s office, when I heard a childlike voice say, “Happy Halloween”. I hadn’t noticed her walking by since I was trying to write a note to a long distance friend. Such a time difference between us, only a few when we can chat. I looked up to see a woman around my age unsteadily walking to the door. I answered her greeting, looked back to my phone, had the sound off, but still trying to contact my friend. The woman said she was waiting for curb-to-curb (the same bus I take), but mine was scheduled for a later time. 

She left, and I decided to read blog posts on the phone. Finally I went outside to get some air, and there she was, sitting on a bench reading. I asked what she was reading. From then on, I listened to her story. She had a stroke, and talking was slow and difficult, hard to understand. She went on about the book, “The Grain Brain”, which had highlighted sentences and many paper strip bookmarks. 

Paying close attention was required, even though I was anxious to chat with my friend. My phone was vibrating, but she didn’t seem to notice, so I  turned it off completely. This extraordinary woman was from Germany, a cat for a roommate, brain lesions, and dyslexic. Yet here she was, acutely aware how difficult it was to find the right words and have them heard correctly.  She read some excerpts from the book. I am not usually a patient person. This dear woman entertained me until I left the bus at my complex. I learned so many interesting facts about her. I wonder if we’ll meet again on the bus. 

 Never made contact with my friend today, but I’m glad I had the patience to meet a new one.

I am surprised by the nomination from

http://mind-flight.org/author/rohvannyn/, but I thank her and appreciate her very much as an author and blog friend.  My inexperience with the WordPress site isn’t diminishing. I’m getting better, but it takes a lot of patience, and I have a minimal supply. The result is writing an e-mail as a draft, then copy and paste into the blog post area. This works except for photos. Placing photos is not difficult, just takes more of that “patient”mentality. Editing them to a perfect size and area on my post requires more than one try and that is why I don’t use many. Too frustrating! So now you are reading my copied e-mail. Maybe I’ll find a picture that works, no promises.

Answers to Rohvannyn’s questions:

1. My favorite books to read are true stories, comedy, fantasy, science fiction.
2. What most inspires me are my children and grandchildren.  Their triumphs, their individual spirits, enthusiasm, talents, how long have we got?
3. Why do I write?  Hmmm…  I just write like I talk.  Nothing fancy, just what I think.  I have a lot of ideas and opinions, and writing is an outlet for them.
4. I started blogging because a trusted friend recommended it.  I wanted a place to express the frustrations of having a second bout of cancer, and the results of that.  My idea was to help other people who had these cancers and to detail what happens when you get home and how to manage it.
5. If I could choose any profession, (don’t laugh) it would be a style consultant to women and men who do not have the body of a model.

• Rules for the Sunshine Blogger Award:
  
• 1.Thank the person who nominated you in a blog post and link back to their blog.
  
• 2.Answer the questions sent by the person who nominated you.
  
• 3.Nominate seven new blogs to receive the award and write them new questions.
  
• 4.List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or your blog.

 I thank Rohvannyn for her faith in me.  I love a lot of her blog posts, and so many others, it’s hard to choose, but here are some sites you might enjoy:

1. http://whitecollarheathen.wordpress.com
2. http://lostpropertyrepository.wordpress.com
3. http://purposivewriter.wordpress.com
4. http://pawan35.wordpress.com
5. http://marantophotography.wordpress.com/
6. http://gravatar.com/jesusalvarezo.wordpress.com/
7. http://peacefrompanic.wordpress.com

Waiting, tis truly an art

Filling time, after the start.

No wifi you say?

Nothing to play?

You might have to read

Where would that lead?

Your brain is confused

But nothing to lose.

This might sound trite:

You could try to write.

Whatever you choose

A book or the news

Reading’s less grating

Than sitting and waiting.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/waiting/

Marilyn on the grate, thanks, draft!

https://nicolaauckland.com/2016/10/16/sometimes-stellar-storyteller-six-word-story-challenge

Do you trust inanimate objects? I do every day. My most trusted appliance is my iPad. I don’t like to admit this: I love the iPad. I rely on it too much. For instance, doing all the writing, reading, copying and pasting, Google lookups, FB, Twitter, Amazon, Kindle, chats, games –  I could go on and on. My laptop is slow, and I don’t have an iPhone. The iPad is my trusted companion. Sounds a bit weird? Oh well, you know what they say about old ladies who live alone? Yup, that’s me.  

https://Wordpress .com/2016/10/17/the-daily-prompt-trust/

Anybody else sick of ads that start out:

“When you look in the mirror, do you look worn, droopy, or tired?”  

Never mind the fact, “of course I do” rings in my head. I could harm these people! Who designs these ads? A misogynistic group of ad men? Maybe women? Tired of it. That’s why I record, and skip commercials. 

On the one hand we’re told we are active, intelligent beings, unafraid to join the men in combat, break through the glass ceiling, all our dreams of accomplishment can be fulfilled. And then we see or hear the latest drivel from a wannabe president, or watch TV.  Make up your mind, world!  How can we be everything, all the time, and should we want to? We can be the work-at-home mom, but don’t neglect the children. We can work outside the home, but don’t neglect our family responsibilities. We’re rubber band women, pulled and stretched in all directions at once.  

And then there’s the media, breaking us down at every turn, to be smarter, thinner, more attractive, and here’s how to do it. 

Are we the “newer, shinier, modern model”? Should we be? Make up your mind!

https://rugby843.wordpress.com

The most significant candle in my life was in a paper bag with my husband’s name on it. He died July 17, 2013 of esophagus cancer.
My granddaughter decided to hold a Cancer Relay that year to raise money and bring more awareness to cancer in general. It consists of walking/rolling around a track which is lined with illuminated bags made by the family survivors. It involves dinner, games, prizes, and every hour of the day and night a different contest was held. My niece dressed as a Blues Brother for the 80s run around the track. At sundown the candled bags were lit and everyone silently traced the track again.