Every once in a while a huge surprise comes your way. It’s a miracle you may think, and are so happy it happened! This week I received two such surprises, both in monetary form. I have my daughter to thank for one and my sister, the one who visited me last fall, for the other. I have to add that I spent a very long time today in conversation with another sister, and I was so happy about that, knowing she was all right. So the day started well.
Then my grandson, the chauffeur, brought my mail and we had lunch together. He’s been so busy with marching band and his job, we don’t see each other as much. I am so grateful he takes the time to visit, and hugs, those are important! I was relaxing, opening my mail and saw a letter from my sister, who never writes, never calls, but we sisters know that is just her way. Hardly any of us sit down and mail handwritten letters anymore.
The letter gave me an order: Fix the rig, get on it, and go help those guys at the VA! Now this sister is the funniest of us all. At 87 her sense of humor has not changed. She had seven kids and is used to giving orders. She knew I had been putting off having my scooter repaired because other expenses were more important. When she visited last year she knew my situation, and I think she wanted to help. What a dear sweet thing to do. Another reason I have been putting off getting the scooter was the accident I had the last time I used it. I misjudged a bump, it turned over, I fell and broke a bone that connects my hip and leg. Truthfully I never want to get on that thing again.
My dilemma is this. Should I rip up the check? I feel unworthy to accept it. I was so shocked I couldn’t call her today to even acknowledge receiving it. I only get my mail every two weeks or so, partly because I don’t have the scooter to get it. I admit I’ve been putting things off lately, staying home more. I don’t know exactly why. Maybe this is my push to get out, interact with the veterans at the hospital. My daughter has asked about the local senior center, but I don’t feel I’m ready for that. I cannot picture myself settling for that, not yet at least. Am I trying to deny my age or my abilities or lack of them? Is it time to get off the fence and kick myself in the butt?
I am in a rut. Ever have that feeling that you just can’t take a step forward? It has been with me since January, and it’s starting to get on my nerves.