I had been wanting to try this for a while. I was always too frightened to actually do it. But today is the day. I am getting older by the minute, which is a good thing, really, it is, but there’s not much excitement in my life. In fact, it’s downright boring! I feel like I’m getting closer to the end and the pressure is on to accomplish some things I’ve never done, never dared.
I am not an athlete, sure of myself, balanced, or a bit strong, but I feel it’s time to leap, not resisting any longer. It’s not a “bucket list” thing. I have none. I think boredom is what it is. I seem to be halfway content, living on my own, but there’s the rub. Too much time on my hands is causing my mind to reminisce, too much of course, thinking of what I should have done, could have done better with more effort. Instead I pretty much took the easy way out, doing what was necessary to maintain a certain way of life, sometimes for appearances’ sake.
I have been lucky, blessed, fortunate, choose a term that you prefer….in so many ways. Am I wrong not be satisfied with that? It’s not as if there’s someone “up there”, looking below, thinking, what is the matter with her? She’s still unsatisfied? What could she possibly want from life now?
I am satisfied I did my best, most of the time. I believe most do. Some try their hardest constantly, and still fail. I know I should be content, happy, all those words, but I’m not. I’ve been in pain, lasting years. I’ve suffered from disease and loss, and I’m still here. But I want more of life, especially now when I have the time and guts to do things. Guts may also be defined as carefree, or I have nothing to lose? I hesitate to add stupidity, which is probably what most people would think.
So they are strapping me in. I am attached to a very nice, extremely capable, dare I add handsome? man who has taken on the responsibility for my safety. I could have gone by myself, but I’m not that brave yet, maybe in another few years… All set up, he looks back at me with a huge smile and asks if I’m ready. I keep my mind on a g-rated keel, and say yes.
He runs and then we fly. It is incredible. Soaring over beauty of the mountains, but looking down to the land below….why I’ve waited so long to attempt this….it’s beautiful! Now I know why I’ve lived this long, why I’ve survived. This unbelievable experience was waiting for me, for a point where I needed it most. After soaring across the sky, we land safely. I knew I could rely on him. Safe and sound….can’t wait to do it again! Maybe next time, over the ocean or mountain lake?