I will riff on my idea of the day–change. It was an epiphany at five this morning after scrambling back to bed from a cold trip to the bathroom. I hate getting up in the cold. But I digress. . .as usual.
I’m laying there thinking my entire problem is change. Above my dragonfly on my site, there is a quote about change and when I chose it, I truly believed it, was positive in my outlook and now, four years later I think, well you certainly screwed that up!
A person can only take so much change in their life till it’s pretty much a revolving door you get stuck in. You just keep wondering when you’ll be able to stop it and get out to some destination you think you want.
There’s the other thing, thinking what you wanted and then getting it, only to wish you hadn’t.
After 2013 and my husband passed away, I wanted a change and boy did I get it. Everything I anticipated as a positive–because I was a positive person and chose to keep thinking that way changed.
Even now, thinking back, I thought starting new, including moving to a new environment, with different atmosphere and even furnishings, would be an adventure. It didn’t work. Not that I want all of that back, I don’t. It’s not me anymore.
Because I’ve changed. Everything around me that I apparently valued too much, is gone, the life, the friends, the family closeness. Changed.
Embracing change is a must, at least in my case. I don’t have a choice. It just seems to happen to me and of course that’s the biggest change of all, not being able to control what happens.
Some people think your life is already scripted and you just act it out as it comes. If so, I’d like to talk to the director.