It was “A long history of nearly nothing”. At least that’s how he put it at the divorce hearing. Sitting in the courtroom, I still had not thought this would happen. He had met someone new, younger, more exciting, adventurous–I was almost jealous of his ability to just drop everything, apply for the divorce, and set out on a new life.
I admit I was defeated, felt like a failure. Could I blame him? The “nothing years” he said, my mind struggled to believe he used those words. We had a family, a busy life, and I thought he was happy, satisfied in his role as husband and father. What happened?
What happened? My subconscious knows, it just won’t show itself until I’m in the dark, trying to sleep and then there it is. Everything had slowed down to a predictable pace of life. No more surprises, no more secret hidden notes to each other. Spontaneity had died. We loved each other but we weren’t “in love”. We were tired, life happened and youthful expectations fell away.
My lawyer rose to say, “no contest” and I felt empty.