Just for fun, don’t get your knickers in a knot:
“Freeze!” He yelled as I lifted the bottle.
Little did I know he was watching so closely.
If known, I wouldn’t have tried to boggle
The mind of the clerk, who turned out a jerk
Who chose the however proper, elective
To push the button
Only to summon
The very efficiently armed store detective.
“My my” I said quietly as I slowly turned
“Why this accosting I have earned?”
“I said freeze, madam, hands on the counter!”
I put down the bottle, hands were unsteady
I could fake a faint, always at the ready
But I was indeed guilty, tried to abscond
With the expensive perfume of which I was fond.
The Bag Lady 