Well here I am. Man, this place isn’t exactly Better Homes and Gardens material, is it? Talk about bleak! Of course I am the latest brightest thing, and very proud to be here, well–somewhere at least. That showroom with all of us turned on, blaring the same program over and over, that was a real drag.
Think I’m being selfish, wanting to be here all by myself? Dang right, brother! Now I’m here alone, I can shine, and show what I’m capable of! I have three channels to delight you!
Believe me, this room could use a little delight.
The Bag Lady 
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