I should never have pursued him. We should have “passed like two ships in the night”, as the saying goes. All around us the cold icy waters of our lives flowed and we were just drifting, alone in the darkness of our own worlds. Staying the course, staying free from the curse I now know as love, would have been the best choice. I never seem to make the right choice.
It wasn’t complicated; two people with too many unmet needs, just passing. The mistake was mine. I felt I had nothing to lose, so stopped and made a connection. Never knowing fully or even really caring if it was unwise, I sought the journey. I always hoped for a happy ending.
The initial needs met, the laughter and wit exhausted, it ended, as all desperate love affairs do. The meetings started to wane, the laughter grew a bit forced and the passion ebbed. I should have known better. I took a chance. I lost.