Hose or no hose, that is the question

Inspired by the awesome lady at mydangblog, I agree with her latest blog. There are a lot of weird people out there just like me and it took writing a blog to discover them. I am so grateful! She referenced another blog wasthatmyoutloudvoice and I had another great laugh reading her blog. If you are just having an ordinary, or less than ordinary day, check them out. You’ll definitely get a boost to keep yourself smiling.

A couple of subjects discussed today were about trying on clothes, swimsuits, underwear, etc and I wrote a similar post about trying on bras in public, well, in a small dressing room that turned out it might as well have been public. The swim suit issue reminded me of living in humid weather and trying to get dressed for work. Wearing panty hose, yes I’m that old, was a requirement which I didn’t mind since I’m very white. Unless I wanted to look like a dressed birch tree with my legs not “hosed”, I needed the stockings.

Getting these torturous delicate overly long bits of see-through nylon onto sweaty legs might qualify as an Olympic feat, or as I call it, wetswimsuit syndrome. Ever have fun putting on a wet form-fitting swimsuit?

Back to the pantyhose. Rolling them up, starting at the toes and carefully pulling them on to not cause a run, is pretty easy until you get over the knee. From there up is where talent should kick in. Unless you have the legs of Twiggy, your thighs do touch, and being hot and sweaty, they don’t really like to be encased in nylon. Working slowly, now standing up, trying not to lose your balance, pulling them up and over the hips, you’ve made it! Hallelujah! I might offer too much information telling you I have used a hairdryer on cool before, during, or after this process to make it easier to accomplish. The words “picture it” from Golden Girls’s Sophia comes to mind. Or maybe not.

All well and good, you finish dressing and get into your car, sitting on a hot seat which causes further sweating in the area. By the time you arrive at the office, the nylon fibers are literally eating into your thighs, at least it feels like they are. Thank heavens for the new fashion of wearing no hose. It’s not Marlene Dietrich but it’s comfortable.



11 thoughts on “Hose or no hose, that is the question

  1. I had to laugh. But, coming from the old school, I prefer hose on Sundays to church. But, good luck finding them and then at an affordable price. Yesterday I preached at church, and I wore a robe so no one could see my bare legs. Yep, iI need to come into the 21st century.

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