Chainmail, how I hate chainmail. It’s heavy, uncomfortable, leaves permanent scars when smashed into your face, and it is hot! I suppose it has its good points, thwarting large sword blades, daggers to your chest, etc, but face it, it is hard to keep clean. Not every knight is provided with an efficient squire to clean his equipment. Some of these young boys vomit at the sight of blood, and bits of flesh embedded in your armor actually frighten them!
Take the other day for instance. I was out in the field doing routine knight duties, fighting a dragon. Yes, they’re rare these days, but if one comes around, it is a knight’s sworn oath to protect the hand of any fair maiden. Of course fair maidens are also rare, and hardly ever seen outside the castle walls, but I digress. Nearly finished defeating the huge fiery beast, it suddenly collapsed. Prematurely boasting to my squire, I was surprised when the dragon’s fang plunged into my heart.
With my last breath, I pleaded with my squire, “clean the chainmail”.