It’s an intricate problem, these matters of the heart. Love, like, preference, romance, duty, obligation, reaction, reward, control, passion, persistence, persevere….only a few that I think apply to the heart.
Seeing a potential target, the initial nuances of flirtation and attraction, what of these and their results? Is it a lifetime of having all of your dreams and desires come to fruition? I think it’s usually a fantasy. Two complete individuals roll themselves into one. Life isn’t a Reese’s peanut butter cup commercial. Two people may think in the throes of passion that this is possible–they can’t exist without the other. I think it is rare this ever happens. I have witnessed examples of it and it makes my romantic side wistful, happy and satisfied.
I’ve also seen two people who spend their whole lives trying to make it happen, all the while feeling guilty that it isn’t. Years of frustration in thinking if they just try harder, do this or that, or don’t do this or that. The initial romance disappears and the obligation rears up. How many times have you heard someone say they’ve “stayed together for the children”? Children are just smaller people. We wish to ignore their intuitiveness and think they remain unaware of relationships.
I don’t have answers for anyone. I do think bringing up children with fantasies of perfect lives with another human can be misinterpreted. Fairytales are fun and they do happen. Reality, however, does exist and happiness with one person for the length of your life is sweet and romantic, dreamy and wonderful, but rare.