She closed her eyes and felt herself getting damp from the moss and leaves. The dizziness was getting worse. She tried to let her body sink into the green softness, and forget the way the sky had started slowly spinning. Thinking that lying still, it would wash over her and leave as it had before. The last time, she was safely in bed, but this day it came unexpectedly in the light. As she let the greenery surround and envelope her, thoughts of her impending death entered her mind.
The doctor warned her it would get worse. The spells would occur more frequently, increase in intensity, and she would be lost in this state forever. A coma-like state would take over and she would be immobilized, able to hear everything, but could not speak. Trying to open her eyes would cause the dizziness to worsen. How long she would live in this condition varied, and the doctor wouldn’t speculate. When she researched the illness, she was saddened by the shortness of the final state. She could try to look on it as less suffering for her beloved.
She didn’t tell him of this illness. Of course it wasn’t fair not to tell him, but she couldn’t bear to see the look on his face. A cowardly way out, for when the realization came to him she would never improve, she couldn’t bear to think of his sorrow. Her own sadness at leaving him was almost too much for her, she wasn’t able to take on his as well. She preferred to be selfish in this manner. The idea of leaving him forever was too difficult. The doctor advised there were no miracle cures or potions that would cure her.
Was this the last time she would recover she wondered. Slowly opening her eyes she leaned up against the tree and wept.