Confessions of a wannabe athlete Or Don’t you ever learn?

It all started at the age of three. I was bouncing on my bed, a serious no-no, and landed on the wooden floor with a concussion, ended up in the hospital. Around seven or eight I decided to take our big horse Trigger for a ride. Didn’t tighten the belt tight enough. We were galloping in the back yard/field and the saddle slipped down under his tummy and I was holding on to his neck for dear life. Second lesson, no learning. 

Third lesson. I was swinging on a rope suspended from the pipe that took milk from the barn to the milk house. I was showing off for my nephews and nieces. A definite mistake, and strictly prohibited. Of course the rope broke and I landed with my head catching the broken edge of the cement between the barn and the milk house. My mom was so mad she put my head under the faucet in the kitchen and poured the remedy of the day over the wound. You guessed it, iodine. Boy did that sting. I still have a big scar on the back of my head today.

Fourth occasion was getting a “big bike” for my thirteenth birthday. My knees still bear the embedded coal from the driveway.

My daughter’s birthday we all went ice skating with her friends. When my ankles finally stopped complaining, I fell on my right knee and it blew up like a balloon. As a result, in 2005 I had a right knee replacement. In between those two events, another celebratory trip involved moped riding. I was excited to try it. A wooded narrow bike path was scary as regular bikers also used it. The one warning my son gave me was don’t take your feet off the pedals. Of course not…a silent bicycle rider whizzed by coming straight for me. I panicked, swung my legs out to grab dirt and went flying head over heels into the dirt. Another holiday ruined. Thought my arm was broken, badly bruised on my right side and another hospital trip. I think those X-ray technicians are masochists.

Our cousin ran a water park. I had been swimming for exercise and had a Lycra diving suit. We got to go into the park an hour before it opened up. Not to be outdone by my youngers, I went down this huge turning slide. My suit was so slippery I had no control and gathered speed quickly. All of a sudden there was a six foot drop I didn’t expect. I flew out and landed solidly on my tailbone. Sitting or getting up from sitting was torture for a few weeks. No, I had no donut pillow.

Then not to be daunted, as I said a few days ago, we all liked skiing. I wore sunglasses but ended up snow blind at the time I encountered a drop off. I again flipped head over heels as the front tips of my skis dug in, sending the rest of me over. I hit my head first and it hurt. Then my back. I was just laying there for a second and a man skis over yelling, ” I saw everything! Don’t move, I called the patrol!”

You would think I had learned my lesson at this stage. Of course not. You need a little adventure in your life!


10 thoughts on “Confessions of a wannabe athlete Or Don’t you ever learn?

  1. Not sure whether that’s a search for an adventure or a death wish?

    I’ve also had some adventure in my life and it’s not what it’s cut out to be, in my estimation. I’ve not had replacement parts but I now lack all the spare bits. I never wanted to be an athlete either. It’s gonna’ sound trite? I only ever wanted. Was to know God. Which is nice, The rest is, all gravy. An odd expression for a vegetarian? Cheers Jamie.

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