Writing Challenge-70-the secret keeper


What was that noise? I must just be hearing things again. Everything seems a little weird lately. My part in the mystery was writing the note, not the actual commission of any crime. It was an innocent enough note, hardly a threat, more like a warning. “Beware of someone offering a trade“.  

I was asked by an acquaintance, actually more like a friend, to write a note to their girlfriend. Hardly suspicious, but he could have just texted it. The note seemed more truthful, possibly ominous, but of course I think he wanted to scare her a bit. At first I went along thinking it a joke on the girl, who I really didn’t care for in the first place. So I wrote the note in vague handwriting and slipped it in her locker.

The noises started shortly after I planted the note. Strange eerie sounds, probably just the wind. I didn’t think much about it at the time, but now a few days had passed I was curious if my friend got the reaction he was looking for. I gave him a call.  

“Hey, Jer, what’s up? Haven’t heard a word about the note yet.”  I waited for an answer, but Jerry just hung up. I texted him the same message. No answer.

Little did I realize Jerry had unintentionally involved me in a frightening scheme. His girlfriend was eyeing another guy who had a mysterious background. He started giving small gifts to Jerry’s girlfriend. Naturally, Jerry wasn’t in the position to do the same, so was afraid he might lose her to the richer boy. The ultimate challenge came when the boy offered Jerry’s girl a ring. The ring was unusual and sported an emerald in an odd shape. Of course Jerry was jealous and a little perturbed that “his” girl would accept it.  

I was wondering why this girl would treat Jerry like this. She seemed almost mesmerized by the new boy who showed her so much affection. I decided to do some googling on the stranger.  

I was shocked to discover that he was nonexistent on the web. As I researched more I found an ancient legend and myth about a genie who appears every fifteen years to one vulnerable young woman. The chosen woman had to be unsure of herself, wanting a boost in her confidence and appearance. This genie appeared as a somewhat ordinary boy, offering everything the girl desired. But it came with a price.  

The day she accepted the ring and put it on, her life changed. She suddenly grew more beautiful and carried herself in a more confident manner. She never gave Jerry a second look. His plan unknowingly completed, but not with the outcome he had predicted. Instead of being put off by the warning in the note, she was driven by it. Any change, any price would be worth the trade. As magically as the new boy appeared he was nowhere to be found. The eerie noises also stopped.

Jerry was in a funk because his plan didn’t work. I was mystified by the whole happening. And Jerry’s girlfriend was happy for a year. When she turned sixteen, her life ended, at least to the outside world. I can only imagine she paid the ultimate price for a year of happiness.  It couldn’t be, no, but I wonder if she’s the genie now?  

https://allaboutwritingandmore.wordpress.com/2017/01/02/weekly-writing-challenge-70-the-secret-keeper/

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55 thoughts on “Writing Challenge-70-the secret keeper

    1. There were no tablets, no headphones, just books, coloring books and snacks. We took our own cooler. You either had ham, roast beef or turkey sandwiches or pub. At dinner time you could switch. Those were the days. I need to write about it.

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    2. I’m not claustrophobic, I love caves and mine shafts etc I just hate the idea of sitting in a seat for so long even if I can walk about the cabin. 4-5 hours to Perth annoys me because of the lack of leg room, 18 hours I’d be a mental case.

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    3. It’s a big place, most people don’t get to see more than the 200ks of road at the southern end of it, (although many people think the area from Ceduna to Noreseman (1400ks) is the Nullarbor the only bit the main highway crosses is less that 200ks long. The longest straight stretch of road is longer than the section of the Nullarbor you cross on that road.

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    4. No idea never been there but the Nullarbor is pretty well trafficked now days, you can barely go an hour without seeing someone, even Stormtroopers walking the the damn road. There are plenty of other roads out like the Gibb River Road where you can go days without seeing someone.

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    5. Eureka, commenting from the comment section works, says reply sent. But your comments don’t always show up there. You’re a hard man to track down, lost. Is that intentional?๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ™„

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