The Haunted Wordsmith – 12-5-18

stand-up mixer, stand-up comedian, stand-up guy

He’d always been known to be a standup guy, you know the kind. The ones who are never late to work, always home for dinner, plays with the kids so you can have five minutes of peace? Yup, Stan was your man. In fact he was more than just a great guy to have around, he was almost impeccable! Hard to believe, eh?

Last Saturday morning I went over and knocked on Stan’s door. He yelled, “come on in, Ollie, grab a seat! I’m just finishing up these cookies for the PTA meeting today.”

I curiously watched as Stan deftly manipulated the standup mixer on the kitchen shelf. He then took a rubber spatula out of the crock holding such items and neatly removed the batter from the beaters.

“I thought you might have time for coffee down at the diner, Stan. But if you’re busy we can go another time.”

“That’s okay, Ollie. I can squeeze it in. I’m just going to let this dough chill a bit anyway. If we get back before lunch I can have hot fresh cookies done just in time for the meeting. Then I have approximately two hours between seven and nine tonight before I’m performing at Club Hardy.”

I was amazed. How Stan could be a husband, father, perfect employee, baker and standup comedian. . .well it was just amazing that’s all. I had heard Stan do his routine and it was very funny and I tried to see the act as often as I could.


Stan and Ollie had their coffee break, and walked back to their homes. Stan entered his home and stopped in to hang up his coat as he did every time he took it off, and retired to his home office. As he sat down at his desk, he unlocked the secret drawer with a high tech electronic code. Opened, he placed his right thumb on the device and charged himself up for another week.


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