Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hot/cold.” Use one, use both, bonus points if you start your post with one and end with the other. Enjoy!
Hot and cold describes the behavior of a certain eleven year old I sit with once in a blue moon. Out of his family’s view or principal and teacher’s views who know him well, he can be a warm, smiling boy, but his behavior is more like a three year old. As long as he gets his way, it’s all fine. But around others, including therapists and doctors, he’s a cold, sullen piece of ice that drives everyone who really knows him, crazy.
This may sound harsh, but as some adopting parents realize, sometimes you receive, through all good intentions, what used to be known as a bad seed. This is the case of this boy. No matter of psychiatric intervention will help this boy who tells his family he wants to kill them. He is dangerous to them, siblings, other children at school, and himself. All the attempts at making him feel loved and special with attention have not worked. Medications prescribed by mental health professionals don’t help. There’s no “fixing” him.
I’m sure you think you might know a solution, or feel I’m speaking too harshly. My response is, walk a week in his family’s shoes. Next time you see a child screaming or throwing a fit in public, I ask you to think twice. It may be an uncontrollable situation. I’m sure in “the old days” a child exhibiting this behavior would be spanked, beaten, or worse. The causes for such abherrant behavior for this boy is unknown, with records from another country not available.
To all of you adopting parents, thank you, and I wish you the best. Life can be perfect, having a treasure of a child to complete your family, and I’m happy for you. I encourage adoption because there are so many children needing homes and families. To the parents whose hopefulness turned into a nightmare, I sympathize. Good luck to all of you.