If you’re not more than a dope
You’ll spend your life in a mope
Could end the suffering with a rope
You need a tree, and a horse to lope.
Another method, you could swim
Far, far out where rescue’s slim.
Or lift a very heavy limb
You couldn’t handle in the gym.
You could always set yourself afire
Of course you need a real hot pyre
Very painful, I’m no liar
Go all at once, body entire.
Many people in the past
Have tried to use a shotgun blast
But to shoot so buckshot would amass
You’d need to take a shooting class.
The Eastern way is with a sword
Not like karate with a board
But straight to the gut affords
A one way ticket to the lords.
I know this tale won’t get praise
For showing a few bad ways
But let all your worrying go astray
Buck up, tomorrow’s another day.