Positive or Negative?

by rugby843, posted in Bladder cancer

It isn’t easy being positive all the time. I know some of you I follow seem like you are. I am most of the time. But it does take work to force yourself to look for the good in life’s problems, or good results even in tragedy. Most times I can look at something frustrating and find some humor in it. It’s there, you just have to have that attitude.  

I’ve been in a situation lately that has been on my mind, and tried to think about it in a positive manner. Still reading? Yes, you hear all about that advice from some of us. It’s like the old song, “Look on the Sunny Side of Life”. Old, but still good advice. So you naysayers out there who are about ready to throw your computer, tablet, or phone across the room….I believe it. Today I felt just like that. Danny at dreambigdreamoften.co asked today if you ever feel envious. I suppose that’s a sin in some people’s eyes, but it’s only a part of the human personality. Be honest with yourself. I’m sure at least once in your life you have been envious. I was envious today about something that doesn’t matter a bit in the long run. I got upset for a while, then turned here to write about it. Not everyone solves their problems by writing them out, but it works well for me.

Why is it difficult to always look for the half full part of the glass? Some reasons could be, no money, no food, no decent place to live, no job, no insurance, health issues, sick relatives, or a real biggie, no love of your life. That’s the topper for me. You may think that because I’ve had a full rewarding life, that I should be satisfied to sit in the proverbial rocking chair and enjoy my family. I should. Problem is, it’s not enough. When it comes right down to the nitty gritty, everyone needs that other person. Family and friends are great and nice, and I’m thankful to have them, but they all go home to their lives and you are alone. 

There’s a young blogger here that I follow who has health issues and as any of you who’ve had health issues or a death in the family, know, people are there for a while, they mean well, but they really don’t know what to do. Not until they go through the same experiences, they have no idea.  They leave, and may think you’re fine because you don’t complain to them, and may even forget about it.  I had a cousin who lived fairly close and saw my health decline.  When I started the blog to discuss my health, she wrote, I knew but I didn’t know.  Huh?  Your mind and yourself are what you’re left with. For most things just like this young man, we have no idea what he really goes through. I guess the bottom line is what lostpropertyrepository.com said, just ask, “are you okay?” And that is hard to do. You have to really look at them and ask, because their automatic response will be yes, or sure. Appearances are deceiving. You can’t be casual about it. You have to sincerely want to know and listen to their answer.  

When I volunteer at the Veterans Hospital, I sometimes talk with the people waiting for appointments. When I don’t have a particular job to do, I go down the halls. If I see a person again, still waiting, I stop and ask them how they’re doing. Of course some people don’t, won’t, or can’t talk to you. But that’s okay. Last time I went, I rolled down to the social hall which happened to be empty except for this one older man with a broken leg on an extension, so getting around was difficult. I introduced myself and asked how he was, etc, and if he needed help. He muttered hello and just looked down. I didn’t want to bother him, but gave it another try. He awkwardly rolled up to the table with a huge jigsaw puzzle. I asked, “do you like doing puzzles”? No answer. So I said something like, “okay, have fun with it, I’ll see you next time”, and left. Going down another hall, I found a man  in a patient room who was there an hour before. I rolled by the doorway and asked if he had seen the doctor yet. That started a conversation and we chatted till the doc came. No one likes waiting for doctors in those rooms and this man was obviously in pain. I hope I helped him pass the time. This type of interaction was good for both of us. He was less bored, forgot about the pain for a while, and I enjoyed listening to him.

My point in writing this is, everyone needs someone, needs help at times, has lonely moments, and the best remedy for any of it, to me, is to find the positive way to handle it. And if you are okay yourself, give your attention, or voice, or physical presence to someone who needs it.  I would add have some G rated jokes handy, but not everyone appreciates humor, especially told by a woman.  See that, GC?  😉
 
Veterans are special to me because they put their whole life on hold and in danger for the rest of us. If they come home broken in some way, they need to know we appreciate their sacrifice. I can’t imagine thinking you’ve lost your “worthiness” and sitting in a hospital by yourself. I say that because that’s the attitude of some men and women who come home different than how they left, full of courage and determination. They need help to get that back.

Okay, enough of my “mom knows best” attitude. If you’re still reading, thank you.  

https://rugby843.blog

57 thoughts on “Positive or Negative?”

  1. You raise some good points. Do I have any solutions? Perhaps but they’re mine. It’s far to easy to be glib, when faced with such. We can mean well, Writing can be sometimes difficult to share emotions.

    TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
    And sorry I could not travel both
    And be one traveler, long I stood
    And looked down one as far as I could
    To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

    Then took the other, as just as fair,
    And having perhaps the better claim,
    Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
    Though as for that the passing there
    Had worn them really about the same, 10

    And both that morning equally lay
    In leaves no step had trodden black.
    Oh, I kept the first for another day!
    Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
    I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference. 20

    http://www.bartleby.com/119/1.html

    Cheers Jamie.

    Liked by 1 person

    4. I agree. It’s open to the other person’s interpretation. Doesn’t always come across as meant. I tend to write how I think and maybe should delete. If always doing that, I wouldn’t be here.

      Like

    8. Yeah they are pretty strong too if my fishing game is anything to go by, Bass tug on the line Catfish drag it. Down here we have Gurnard which sting like all get out, you wont die but you will wish you had. But the strongest fish I have ever caught is a Skate (ray) they just bury themselves and once under the sand they wont come out.

      Liked by 1 person

    10. I’m not a big fish eater anyway and I really only like it when I cook it, but I used to be a keen fisherman.
      My Grandmother caught a Port Jackson shark 50+ years ago (before they were protected) and it was a record breaking catch for the yacht club she belonged too, a record that still has not been broken

      Liked by 1 person

    14. Beefalo? I’ve tried Buffalo, Crocodile, Elephant, Kanagroo, Deer and the usual range of ‘normal everyday’ meats. I’ve even tried monkey gland sauce, that’s a good one to make people gag 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    34. I type everything in a word processor and save it. Even though I am on my own server and it backs up multiple times a day I keep copies of everything I write even the stuff that is not worth publishing.

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    36. Nah I save everything, all my, writing, graphic design work and websites. I always have at least one copy on a hard drive somewhere. Some of the stuff dates back more than 20 years and then there is the art I digitised which was created before I was a computer guru.

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    40. I hoard a lot of stuff, I also have a small collection of antiques I’ve saved for my kids, but my work is mine, saving it is also my copyright (as if someone would want to steal it) and my work shows me and the road I travelled. It’s not a pretty road but it serves as a reminder.
      That horror story has been bugging me for weeks it didn’t turn out like I wanted but hopefully now it’s out of my head.

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  5. I think most of us prefer to be positive, but life surely challenges that at times.. To me, facing something truly painful and trying to muster positivity in the midst of it risks being less than authentic. I say we give ourselves little time to work through it, so that positivity does’t come at the expense of honesty.

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  6. Merry Christmas Bag Lady 🙂 … I agree that it is always good to work our mind into thinking positively, but sometimes, bad feeling have to be expressed too. And it is not a pity competition… I hate it when people start comparing situations! If you feel sad and lonely, just reach out, and I am pretty sure we readers (yes, I am talking for all 216 of us!! 😉 ) will jump in to help make you feel better 🙂 *Big hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You have a beautiful heart and soul, Have a lovely chilling Christmas and feel free to moan whenever 😉 🌟✨⚡️💫💫💫

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