Bummer or:  The Grinch Lives

by rugby843, posted in Bladder cancer

I hate to admit this, but it’s the twelfth, and I’m not feeling it. It’s been a weird year. The past four years have been strange. A part of it is loneliness, and not being as able as I would like to be. But all that is an up and down matter. And mostly up. I don’t get depressed the way some people suffer with it, and I’m very grateful for that. Everyone has bad days, and this is one of them. Last night I had great expectations of getting up early, opening the Christmas decoration boxes and having carols on the stereo. I had even purchased some candy for decorating cookies. So what changed? 

What happened when I woke up early? It was freezing cold and I just slunk back under the covers. When you live by yourself, you have that luxury. That was my first mistake. Around eleven, I woke again, got up and started reading mail, actual snail mail I received yesterday. Then a shower and coffee. As I waited for the hot water to boil, I surveyed the empty living room. There stood the boxes still unopened. Where was my ambition, my plans, from last night? I’m very good at making plans at night when I can’t sleep, but it’s hard to fulfill them in the morning. I read some cheery blog posts, and still couldn’t make myself feel like doing anything “Christmasy”.

So here it is another sleepless night. Maybe tomorrow I’ll put the music on early and do it. No promises. (Sigh)

Thank ya, thank ya very much.


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11 thoughts on “Bummer or:  The Grinch Lives”

  2. As I made comment before … I don’t do Christmas. Lordy even the word grates. I feel fine with it all. No pressures, no bits of trees in the house. No expectations. All my family know that is my wish. The last time I did anything. Mom was still alive. I baked a fruit cake and mailed it to England. Well the postage on that sucker, was nearly $200ca. The ingredients including the brandy, were close to $100 at the time. I will not do that again. Yet it was worth it, if only for Mom.

    Mom lived with my sister and all her family enjoyed it except for a couple who are nut intolerant. Today, Victoria B.C. has flurries. It has been a few years since any snowfall of consequence has occurred in B.C.’s capital city. Few are equipped to deal with it. Luckily, my car is parked under the lot. My snow tires are on. This is my first year of being parked out of the elements, since I was married. 20 years ago. My son has a birthday in January. I have his gift for birthday already, to gift then.

    I got married this year. My wife lives in Philippines, while we wait for her PR Visa. That’s a complicated business. About 40 pages of forms. Then there’s the proofs, etc. Winter in Canada is a season to endure. Little wonder so many travel away, for a time? Me? I like it. I like enduring. Watching birds that stay, or fly inland for the storms. Birds that return in late winter. Watching the buds swell on the trees. The expectation of spring. It is not even winter yet and already my hope turns to Spring. Cheers Jamie.

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    1. My son married a woman from Canada. Took three years to get her here. Will see her and my other don from NJ and family then too. At least I’m trying – getting a small tree today with my granddaughter. Thanks for telling me about your life. I don’t mind winter, it’s the wind here that’s a pain. I love the snow and also love the spring. Autumn my favorite because of the colors.

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    2. It will, don’t force it. If you put one Christmas piece out and sit and look at it, it will spur you on and if it doesn’t so what! 🎄or ask the grandchildren to do it 😳😬

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