Praise

I never realized how important praise was until I had children of my own.  As a child, I didn’t receive praise, at least I can’t remember any.  My father was the head of the household and at dinner time, he was the speaker.  The rest of us listened.  As an adult, I think back and realize he probably was never praised either.  These unfortunate traits have a way of perpetuating.  As a mother, I read books on what I should do and in the sixties and seventies, “expert” ideas were very different.  One concept I will never forget, and saved my kids I’m sure, was not letting your own expectations cloud their work. For example, if they had a job to do, and did it well, but not exactly as you expected, praise them anyway, because they did the best they could, and deserved that praise.  As a child, and a teenager, I tried to live up to what was expected of me. Failure to do so usually led to an embarrassing action on my dad’s part.  Even as an adult, the criticism didn’t stop.  This is why praise is so important.  It affects self worth.  And when all else fails, you just have yourself, and what you think of yourself.  I’m learning a lot from my daughter and her husband about raising children.  They are exceptional parents.  It amazes me the confidence and wellbeing their children feel.  And not obnoxiously so, but in a positive self awareness.  I could brag about them and their achievements all day, as most mothers and grandmothers could.  But I think the basic premise is praise.  Praise for a job well done, a compassionate attitude, a love for each other, and others, in general.  They praise each other and take pride in each other’s accomplishments.